At one time I was pretty brainwashed into thinking extended family was very important. However, after we helped some of our families out in Nepal and also helped some come to America. We noticed that extended family was quite different, they did not feel about us the way we felt about them. We noticed that once they were here and settled, they discarded the need to interact with us and they did not even take the time to show appreciation for all that was done on to them. We were not asking much , simple hello, phone call, drop by and invite etc...

I still believe in family but now after I see all the problems in having too close ties, all the family drama that can occur, all the infighting between cousins and other relatives, I am convinced individualism that Americans have is much more true than the ruse that we call an extended family.

What are your thoughts?

I feel less connected to relatives now.

Depends. Not all. Anyway, you do what you feel is your duty or because of the family-tie. If they don't feel the same way, then it's their problem, not yours. Do your duty, do not seek from others :o)

GreenGal is right..you have done your duty. you are cool MCR7...
Individualism over here in America is cool so is the family..

Any person or family Behaviors, Attitude and action depend following matters;

(1) How he/she grow up ? family, Race, Society and Culture

(2) How he/she earns Education + Quality level

(3) Psychological, Social, Mental and Behavioral problems

Maybe you pick the wrong people.

I do not trust Bahuns people....... These people can not trust.

Mcr7,
You are absolutely right. I have not see many families in Nepal that have acted like a family, helped each other out at hard times, and most of all, respect each other. Even if you do get help from some of the family members, you are assumed to be obligated towards them. The constant fighting among cousins, back biting among family members shows the state of nepalese mind, and the best level. And honestly, I am sure many of you will disagree, nepalese are not the best people around. Anywhere there is a group of nepalese, first of all, there are fights, then bitiching about each other, jealousy and what not. That is why just for an example, we see more indians living peacefully together than nepalese.